“ The difference is drinkability. Drink - ability, the ability to get drunk. „
03/14/2009
02/12/2009
02/05/2009
Lost a Customer
- Cindy: I know Penny gets a lot of stuff from you for home but she doesn't work here anymore.
- Schwann's Guy: Oh that's alright, what can I get for you?
- Cindy: We'll take one box of those ice cream cones.
- Schwann's Guy: Shit! ..... that'll be $14.99.
01/20/2009
- Ed: Did you see Obama got a bullet proof cage for the inauguration?
- Cindy: I don't think they want to call it a cage, Ed.
01/17/2009
“ You can’t be all things to all people. If you are then you only are in a very limited way. But if you are truly genuine you will be greatly loved but a select few, and greatly despised by the vast majority „
Nick Griffith
01/08/2009
“ Chinese New Year and Australia Day both fall on January 26th. Coincidence or threatening alliance? „
01/02/2009
“ Sell your stock in New Year’s novelty sunglasses, 2010 is going to be a bad year. „
12/30/2008
“ With today’s internet pornography and test tube babies, I don’t even have to acknowledge women. „
12/29/2008
- How do you know if your computer's gay?
- It keeps querying your database.
12/23/2008
Another Moronic Conversation Heard from my Office
- Ed: You know it's supposed to be 58 degrees on Saturday.
- Jesse: Where?
- Ed: Here!

